Hi,
Yomna and I have recently spoken about how we started the blog, which frankly I had forgotten. Back in middle school, when we both still lived in London and I still went by Srishti (I opted to switch to my middle name), we created a place for us to just share what we were reading. It was a really beautiful project. However, slowly it became something it was never meant to be. A job. Partially because we were so ambitious and partially because we loved it too much. It also became a burden in Yomna and I's relationship, at least that's how I viewed it.
I always felt guilty for not participating and I never knew how to tell Yomna. So I lied and spoke a lot about my plans for the blog and what I wanted to write. But I never did anything and I hated being that type of person. At the time, I was also dealing with the start of a lot of mental health issues. I was not doing very well and was on the cusp of a depressive episode that would last years. I lost motivation in everything I loved and couldn't recognize myself anymore. With hindsight, I realize that I was going through puberty but what I felt during those years was very muddled and numb. I lost my ability to sit for hours just reading and reading and reading. Something that used to be me. I then moved to Hong Kong in 2017 and left everything behind, including the blog. It became Yomna's blog. Ever since then, it has always been in the back of my mind.
It's 2021 now and I am preparing to go start my second year of university. I, thankfully, as cliched and dumb as it sounds, am learning to be myself again. However, it's a long process and I learned to be kind to myself and realistic in my goals. And I have a lot of goals, which will never change, but I believe in them now. One of them includes reading more, and hopefully write a little post from time to time. No promises.
I am learning to read again.
Lots of love,
Rosanna
To Srishti and Yomna
and most importantly to Yomna
